♪
Storyteller: Long ago,
there existed a brilliant young scientist.
Through the musings of his astonishing genius,
he was able to make a number
of significant contributions to human knowledge.
Eventually, however, his accomplishments
led him to be disillusioned with the world.
Though he was constantly showered with praise
for the intricacies
and revolutionary creations of his mind,
none of his ideas or theories ever received
even the slightest bit of support
from the scientific community.
Rather than advancing human civilization,
his goal was the artificial evolution
of humans as a species.
That was the only dream he had ever had,
but not a single person came forward
to help him achieve his vision.
Dr. genus: Damn these simple apes!
"Dangerous ideas"?
Treating me like a freak?!
( Scoffs ) Do these lowbrow simians really think
humans have come this far by avoiding risks?
Idiots who think that mankind no longer has the need to evolve
have no right to call themselves scientists,
let alone pass on their genes.
Of course, this plan and its fruition
were always for my sake.
I will carry it out, even if i must do it all myself.
Storyteller: He devoted himself to research,
but it was only after he turned 70
that his efforts yielded
the results he'd been searching for.
( Dr. genus gasps )
Storyteller: First, the scientist regained
the prime age-range of his youth.
Next, he began cloning himself en masse.
He named his laboratory the house of evolution,
and with his clones,
he conducted countless experiments with animals,
creating new life and new species.
His experiments then shifted to human subjects.
Saitama: This is taking too long!
Armored gorilla: Huh?
Saitama: What's this got to do with me?
You're just tryin' to sound cool again.
( Armored gorilla sighs )
Saitama: Enough jibber-jabber.
Just get to the point, okay?
Genos: My master is a very busy man.
Summarize it all in 20 words or less.
Armored gorilla: Uh...
Sure. Sorry about that.
♪
( Singing in Japanese )
♪
Armored gorilla: So, in other words, uh,
the boss man has become passionately curious
about you and your body.
Saitama: Too bad.
I'm not interested in dudes.
Genos: Master, that is not what he meant.
Your body surpasses normal human limitations,
so he plans on using it for his research on evolution.
Unless he is stopped, i am sure he will try this again.
We cannot allow him a free hand.
Our move should be to attack him.
Saitama: Sure. Let's go.
Genos: Right.
( Footsteps )
Huh?
Now?!
Saitama: Yeah. There's a sale on tomorrow.
Can't do it then.
Genos: But, master!
Armored gorilla: This doesn't sound good.
Better tell the doctor.
Genos: Hey, you.
( Armored gorilla yelps ) Yes?
Genos: I have one last question.
The house of evolution's cyborg development,
did it begin over four years ago?
How many were created?
Have any of them destroyed towns in the past?
Armored gorilla: Um, I'm not really sure,
but at the house of evolution, I'm the only combat cyborg.
Genos: Hmm.
Dr. genus: Impossible!
Our elite force, formed for the destruction
of these archaic humans, wiped out?!
Clone #33: According to armored gorilla's report,
the two responsible for doing so are on their way here now.
( Dr. genus gasps )
Second clone: If they manage to make it to the lab,
all of our research, everything that we've been working on,
could be destroyed.
Clone #78: We're in serious trouble.
( Dr. genus sputters )
We're forced to use our trump card.
( Clones gasping )
Dr. genus: Begin preparations
for the release of carnage kabuto.
Clone #50: No way!
Fifth clone: No, not him!
Sixth clone: What?! That's crazy!
Seventh clone: He'll finally be released?
Eighth clone: He's right. That might be the only way.
- Maybe we should stop him. - This is too dangerous!
- There is no turning back now. - There's no other way!
Dr. genus: Quiet down. He'll be our very last resort.
Clone #33: But, sir...
Dr. genus: We'll start by activating all our traps
from the first floor to the eighth.
If we're lucky, they will take care of the intruders.
I'm aware of what will happen to us should we fail,
especially to me.
( Bird trills )
Genos: I did not think we would be running the whole way.
Saitama: How else are we gonna get there?
Genos: It was my assumption that you had the ability to fly.
Saitama: You know humans can't do that, right?
Genos: It is amazing that you are never late.
You are a true hero.
Saitama: Really? You're kidding.
I hardly ever arrive on time.
Genos: We're here.
This is the place we were told about.
Saitama: So this is...
Genos: The house of evolution.
Saitama: One, two, three, four, five, six.
Looks like it's about eight stories high.
Uh...
That seemed a little rash. Don't you think?
Genos: You see, in the interest of efficiency,
i thought it would be best
to destroy them all in one fell swoop.
Saitama: Well, that was efficient, but...
We could have at least seen
what our enemies had in store for us.
You didn't really think that one through.
Looks like there's a basement.
( Clone yells )
( Clone panting )
Stop it! Just stay away!
( Carnage kabuto growls )
Dr. genus: Hey, uh, carnage kabuto,
tell me, are you feeling all right?
It would appear you've killed a bunch of my clones again.
Are you satisfied?
Carnage kabuto: Eh?
You fool!
Why would i be satisfied, huh?
I've been kept locked up deep beneath the earth.
I'm the strongest warrior in the entire house of evolution!
Dr. genus: You were imprisoned,
because you're mentally unstable.
We couldn't control you.
There was no choice in the matter.
Carnage kabuto: You couldn't control me?
( Laughs ) Moron!
I am the ultimate culmination of the "new human"
you guys have sought for so long.
My intelligence and physical strength
are incomparable to your own.
The way i see it,
you and all of your clones should be the ones obeying me.
( Slurps )
( Dr. genus thinking ) No, you're a failure.
It's true you perform at unheard of levels,
but you lack humanity.
( Aloud ) Go ahead and kill me if you want.
Plenty of clones could take my place.
Carnage kabuto: Oh?
Dr. genus: But i have a favor to ask first.
There's a specimen i simply must have.
He's proven to be extremely strong.
Only you could defeat him.
I want you to catch him for me...
( Carnage kabuto chuckles )
Dr. genus: Dead or alive.
( Footsteps )
Saitama: This basement is huge.
I'm getting kinda fired up.
( Genos gasps )
Saitama: Huh?
Genos: I sense living beings deeper inside.
Master, two of them are approaching us.
Saitama: Hmm?
( Glass shattering )
Carnage kabuto: Yeah! Here we go!
Which one is it?!
Dr. genus: The one... On the right.
Carnage kabuto: In that case,
you don't need the one on the left!
Saitama: Genos?
Oh.
Whoa.
Carnage kabuto: My name is carnage kabuto.
We've got a combat experimentation room
back this way. Let's throw down in there.
( Chuckles )
Saitama: You just turned genos into a piece of bad modern art.
Let's do this.
( Carnage kabuto chuckles )
♪
Pretty big, huh?
It's the largest room in this facility.
This is where we fight to test our combat abilities,
which means there's plenty of room here to kick your ass.
Well, then, let's start the killing.
Hmm?
Ah. Still alive, are you?
( Genos gasps )
♪
You fool!
Genos: Machine-gun blows.
He got me good.
Let me...
( Carnage kabuto chuckles )
Genos: Take him.
Saitama: Your face is cracked, and you're all smashed up.
Don't push yourself.
( Genos gasps ) With his breath?
Impossible!
Saitama: Genos.
Hey, are you all right?
Genos: Yes, master.
Saitama: No, you're not!
Look at your head!
( Carnage kabuto laughs )
( Babbles )
Saitama: Well, I've gotta admit that was pretty impressive.
You've gone and gotten my hopes up.
( Dr. genus gasping )
I have always been critical
of humans and their inferior abilities.
Aside from myself,
the entire species can only be viewed as dumb animals.
That realization was agony for me.
If memory serves, i was 15 years old at the time.
That's when i hit upon my plan to evolve the human animal
and create a world where i could live contentedly,
a utopia of my very own, created by my genius,
a realm populated by a new human breed
transcending humanity,
bringing about a new world order.
( Gasping )
I must see it through.
Compared to the horrible anguish i endured back then,
this physical pain i feel now is nothing.
Carnage kabuto: What's the holdup?
Let's get this thing going.
Bring everything you've got.
Dr. genus: Carnage kabuto,
the strongest and most brutal creation
of the house of evolution.
Let's see how your archaic human processes fare against a monster
that is the apex of artificial evolution.
Or will you and this challenge
reveal new avenues for experimentation?
I can't wait to find out.
( Boot squeaks )
Carnage kabuto: Oh, i see it.
I see it!
You're supposed to be strong.
Saitama: Don't disappoint me now.
You're supposed to be
the ultimate weapon in this place, right?
Clearly, you're not the same as those guys this morning.
Look at you, just oozing with confidence.
( Carnage kabuto laughs )
Genos: Such speed.
( Carnage kabuto gasps )
Saitama: What are you doing?
Hey.
Dr. genus: Absurd!
Carnage kabuto retreating?!
Carnage kabuto: If I'd attacked him just now,
- he would have killed me. - ( Heart beating )
Who the hell is this guy?
He's leaving himself wide open,
yet all of my instincts are screaming,
sending out danger signals!
Saitama: Huh?
Carnage kabuto: Bastard!
What are you, some kind of freak?!
How in the hell did you get that strong?!
( Genos gasps )
( Carnage kabuto panting )
Saitama: So you wanna know as well?
Okay, fine.
♪
Genos, you listen carefully, too.
Genos: Wait. You mean he is going to tell us right now,
the secret to his amazing power?
Dr. genus: I want to know as well.
Saitama: Huh? Who are you?
Dr. genus: I am genus.
Saitama: Huh?
Fine. Whatever. Listen up.
Genos: No, it is too risky.
He must not let them know his secret.
Saitama: First, what's important
is to make sure you really stick
to this intense training regimen.
Dr. genus: Wait a minute.
Not modification surgery or genetic enhancement?
Just training?
Carnage kabuto: What training?
Saitama: Listen, genos.
You have to keep doing it...
No matter how difficult it gets.
It took me a full three years to get this strong.
100 push-ups...
100 sit-ups...
And 100 squats...
Then a 10-kilometer run!
Do it every single day!
( Saitama panting )
And of course, make sure you eat three meals daily.
Just a banana in the morning is fine.
But never, ever use the air conditioner in the summer
or heat in the winter, so you can strengthen the mind.
In the beginning, you'll wish you were dead.
You might start thinking,
"what's the harm of taking a day off?"
But for me, in order to be a strong hero,
even if i was spitting blood, i never stopped.
I toughed it out and endured the pain.
I did squats even when my legs felt like they couldn't move.
Even when my arms started making weird clicking noises,
i kept doing push-ups.
( Growling )
A year and a half later,
i started to notice a difference.
I was bald...
And i had become stronger!
In other words,
you gotta train like hell
to the point where your hair falls out.
That's the only way to become truly strong.
Guys fooling around
with this "new human race" and evolution junk,
they're never gonna make it this far.
Human beings are strong,
'cause we can change ourselves!
Dr. genus: W-what did he say?!
Carnage kabuto: Is this guy for real?
Genos: Master...
You are so...
Full of crap!
Saitama: Huh?
Genos: That is nothing more than standard strength training!
And it is really not even that intense!
It is just a normal level!
I--i have to get stronger! Understand me?!
I cannot believe you would do this!
I did not ask to study under you to hear jokes!
Master saitama, please.
Your power is more than one could achieve by just training.
Dr. genus: Yes, that's right.
I want to know your--
genos: Your true secret, please reveal it!
Saitama: Look, genos,
you may not believe me, but that's really all i did.
( Genos gasps )
Carnage kabuto: Oh, yeah?
Dr. genus: No! Don't do it! You mustn't!
Carnage kabuto: If you don't wanna tell us your secret,
so be it.
Dr. genus: Oh, my God.
Looks like he's going on another rampage!
Carnage kabuto: I bet you aren't stronger than me!
- Not even close! - ( Alarm blaring )
( Whirring )
Carnage kabuto: But since you seriously pissed me off--
( growls )
I'm gonna annihilate you.
Carnage mode!
♪
When i get like this, i lose control for a whole week,
and my lust for death cannot be quelled!
After i kill you, I'll head into town.
Once I'm there, I'll go on a bloody killing rampage
until next Saturday!
If you really are a strong hero, then try and stop me!
( Roars )
♪
Saitama: No way. It can't be.
Genos: Master?!
Saitama: Damn it.
I may have inadvertently made a horrible mistake.
This guy's in carnage mode,
and he said he'll be on a rampage for a whole week?
Carnage kabuto: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Saitama: So he'd be like this through next Saturday,
one whole week from today.
"Next Saturday."
In other words, he's saying today is Saturday, too.
That means...
Dr. genus: It's all over.
There's no one in this world who can stop my glorious creation.
Saitama: That means...
Today is...
Bargain day at the supermarket!
♪
( Screams )
Dr. genus: Who the hell is this guy?
Saitama: I screwed up!
Dr. genus: What is he talking about?
Genos: I believe...
He is upset because he is missing this.
Master, the store closes at 10:00 P.M.
That is about four hours from now.
If we really hurry, we can still make it.
Saitama: Wait. So you're saying there's still a chance?
Genos: Right.
- Saitama: Let's go, genos! - Genos: Yes, master!
Dr. genus: I think I'm finished dabbling with evolution.
( Rumble )
It would appear...
I'm the one who must change.
( Sniffs )
♪
( Singing in Japanese )
Man: Yes, the on-site investigation is under way.
Yes, that's correct.
Like the other cases,
the area has been thoroughly burnt by intense flames.
Everything we've seen
points to the young cyborg as the one who's responsible.
Yes. Got it.
Look at this. Such devastating power.
Man #2: Yeah.